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January 30, 2003

She's back.

Miss Weinerspice has returned telling us all some very important information. I for one have missed your colorful words.

January 28, 2003

Nutz.

I would say that many things I do can be catagorized as crazy. Many people think I am a nut. First let me say good. Nicknames like the crazy girl, freak or even creepy (which is used for everyone not just me but I had to add that to the list of names) are said seemly with care. So now everyone can add another notch to the crazy stick. Now that I am not enrolled in any course this semester I plan on typing my old Art History notes. From all of the classes - about 4. I took half of Women in Art History and History of Animation was a short course. Anyway I plan on making the notes very neat and organized. It will give me a nice refresher of the old material that has been neatly packed in the cobwebs of my brain.

January 27, 2003

So far so good...

I have got a song in my head and it goes something like this...

Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp
And it read, "Adelina's a pimp"
Sick as hell but no throwin up
Half way home and my pager still blowin up
Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I gotta say it was a good day...

By the way here is another song for you: Back in the saddle again. Hell yeah! It feels good even though I feel like hell in a bucket.

January 26, 2003

The old Addie.

Where in the hell is the old Addie? Right here mutherfucker! Yep, each day I am trying like hell to become the old me. The one that was happy each and every day. The one that was always so laid back and relaxed. The easy going girl that was ready for anything. I hate the stressed psycho that I have become. So I am going to strive to become the old me. I think I will add that to my list of new year's resolutions.

January 24, 2003

Ugh.

Is it May? Has my life changed yet? Time seems to move so dreadfully slow in the winter. Summers just slip by while winters last an eternity. The more I think about my life and my situation with my job the more I want to scream. Yes, I should be thankful for many things. (And I am sure that there may be some readers thinking I am a bitch that is completely ungrateful.) But you know what? I don't care. I hate my job. I never thought I would actually say that. In the beginning I loved my job - helping others do their jobs properly. Now it has twisted into something that I cannot stand. It’s been over a month since I have gone to work and done my job. Mind you I am not speaking about my "title" I am speaking about the job in general. Our focus has shifted and we are now stuck in a horrid little loop. I am twenty-fucking-two! What the fuck am I doing in this horrible hell hole life?

You may notice I am not at work. I need recouping time. Lets hope I feel better... pray for me. I certainly hope I return to work on Monday. Eh, fuck who the hell am I kidding. I will be there, happy at first while attempting to do something remotely close to assuring quality. Again I may become the office bitch but I am so fucking over qualified for that job it makes me shiver. I have a fucking Associates Degree! The requirement for my job is a high school diploma. What the hell is wrong with me??

I completed the online application for Mount Saint Mary's College earlier this morning. I really need to get the hell out of this hole. I also managed my finances this morning. By May I will be credit card debit free. Sooner if I do not put any money into my savings account. Three to four months!

I am going to put my resume online. I have no problems designing a professional looking site for the damn thing. But I’ll need help putting my shit into the proper professional language. That is definitely one area that I need to improve. I may work well with computers, I may be good at math, I may be able to paint, and I may be able to do many things however I am not very verbose. I need help with spelling - thank God for spell check.

Right now I feel so dead. I am not bettering myself for the first time since I have graduated high school. I know that everything happens for a reason - maybe things are going this way for a reason. Maybe I need to see things this way for a while. Perhaps I am learning that school is so completely important to me. Fuck I already knew that. Eh, I have been rambling for too long. I need to focus on feeling better, not bringing myself down.

Happy pay fucking day. (Which reminds me - I work better with a weekly paycheck - finish that hellish week and get rewarded...)

January 22, 2003

Art

Hey everybody! Why not check out some groovey art at ocean-spirit.net. My favorite is Electric Butterfly Dream.

January 21, 2003

Am I crazy?

Me: Hey! There is no sugar.

Daily sugar user: Yeah I know.

Me: Do we have any in the basement? (we store our bulk junk down there)

Daily sugar user: No.

Me: Why isn't there any sugar?

Daily sugar user: Because no one told me that there was no sugar and I am the only one that buys the stuff.

Me: ...

January 20, 2003

Um,

Is it flu season?

January 16, 2003

Rock.

I can't wait to see the Bomb Squad Feburary 1st at the Chance. I am boucing around the room. (I apologize for the cheesy phish reference - it's early and I am a dork.)

January 15, 2003

Wishful thinking.

Run away. Tropical island. Snowy mountain. Red desert. White sand. Some times I wish I could just be magiclly relocated on a deserted island with Eric and a phone made from a coconut.

January 14, 2003

Darkness.

I am sick of the darkness of winter. Although the snow is sickningly white I cannot stand waking while there is no sun. I love all seasons but I grow tired of this cold darkness. This morning no one in my household could get up; everyone is at least ten minutes late...

January 13, 2003

Train Wreck

I just spent the day training a class of almost new hires. Our company offers a two week training before you are able to do the job alone. Because we are in need of help they have been double booking training classes. This class began last week - the official trainer compeleted that week and this week she had an entire new class to begin. So they have me taking over her other class that has been with the company for one week already. Did I loose you yet?

Long story short - I am covering the second week of a two week training class. Let me say: "Whew thank goodness I am home." I have heard this before but I have never experinced it myself. Training a class really takes the pep right out of you. I could sleep right now if I sat on my bed. I would magiclly fall over snoring before my head hits the pillow. My sweetheart Eric is now working in construction. He frames houses and when he gets home all he wants to do is sleep. Well guess what... I did one tenth of the physical labor he does and I am ready to drop.

And just for the record insurance companies are a pain in the ass.

One more thing. Jackass. Thanks to laura for the link.

January 09, 2003

Odd.

I let Noah outside this morning before I went upstairs to use the bathroom. When I get back downstairs the dog is inside. But not completely inside. We have a backroom or perhaps a "mud room". That is where he was. I am hoping I forgot to shut the outside door and because it is so windy the screen door blew open. But I still don't understand how he got the door shut...

January 08, 2003

Green with envy.

It looks like someone enjoyed a few phish shows. She also decided to write a fuck load about it - I don't even have time to take it all in before work.

Subject change: At SUNY Orange I took Children's Literate, Child Psychology among other "children" courses - hell one professer said I would work with children someday because I have the ability to think the way they do. No saying that I am child in anyway (or maybe I am) but I understand how they think...

January 07, 2003

Fresh

I feel stagnant. Stuck. Not progressing. Sort of like when I felt at the end of my freshman year in high school and all of my new buddies graduated. What?! You all get to go and start your lives and I am stuck in this hell for three more years?! That is comparable to my feelings as of late. My career job is taking over my life.

I have never felt so bad about myself and my situation as I do now. I am not even enrolled in any college courses. The more I think about New Paltz the more I think that it is not for me. I am now looking to attend MSMC. It may cost bundles more but it is closer and does not have the hipped out drug reputation. Right now I do not even feel the need to focus on majoring in Art History Education. I would be happy to just go into Education of any kind. How wonderful would it be if I were to become an Elementary Art Teacher?

Changes are a comming... I swear on my own life that I will be in college next semester. Fuckin A right - I am aiming to go to school over the summer. Summer semesters - that is something I vowed I would never do. But like I said times they are a changin'...

January 05, 2003

A bottle of red...

I drank a bottle of red wine last night. Did a few shots of Jameson 1780 and um I think I had some beer. Only a slight hangover - I guess I am getting lucky. Anyway last night Katie decided to get funky with livejournal. Happy new year by the way.